It’s good to talk

david-hockney-a-step-back-2.jpgSpeaking to a pal of mine a few weeks back I noticed that he wasn’t himself. You know with your mates when something is up or when they are just a little bit off.

It transpired that he has a lot on his mind, from family, to work life to his own personal happiness. It was all getting on top of him and not in a way that he was complaining he just had so many worries and he couldn’t make sense of it.

It was like his mind was a project manager trying to prioritise all the different things in his life that had equal importance to everyone and he couldn’t take it so he decided to call in sick from life.

I’ve no doubt that everyone can relate to this. So what happens when you find that all the things that you care about and are focused on in life start getting ‘on top’ of you to the point you can’t prioritise. You end up loosing focus, panic, stress levels go through the roof and no doubt your mood changes.

It’s like your running down a spiral staircase trying to find the right door in certain time, the more you look and run out of time the more frantic you become, and all of a sudden the steps become smaller and the stair case gets steeper and steeper to the point where you eventually slip, stumble and fall out of control.

I can’t speak for anyone else but I know this has happened me on more than one occasion. That’s when we need help getting back up and trying again. Family and surrounding yourself with good pals is imperative.

So in talking to my buddy I just asked him to stop, take a step back and look at the bigger picture and I asked him was he happy. After trying to blag his way around the question, I said ‘Truth Serum’ and he looked at me, again I said, Are you happy, to which he replied

NO.

I’ve mentioned before that happiness is a state of mind and we can choose to be happy or sad. However, admitting we’re not happy takes courage because we project ourselves in a certain way, if we are not reflecting that way we raise concern.

To be fair, everything had gotten on top of him and he needed a reminder of all the great things that he has in his life. He simply just needed to take a step back and see that the trials and tribulations of work, finance and his love life can all be addressed and it was down to him.

Someone said to me recently and it stuck with me, “you can do two things in life, act or accept” and it rings true.

If you act then you’re doing something about it.
If you accept then you shouldn’t complain about it afterwards.

Thankfully my buddy has acted and he’s working through everything. It is tough and he has ups and downs but at least he’s acting. What keeps him focused is simply a balance of nutrition, exercise and meeting up to chat, not just with me but with his close pals.

He’s no longer trying to be someone else to everyone. He’s just being himself and thats taking the pressure off.

Be yourself.

 

 

 

One thought on “It’s good to talk”

  1. People are not disturbed by things, but by the view they take of them.

    Epictetus

    CBT helps us change our perception and mindset about situations… Through changing our thoughts we can have a powerful and positive impact on our feelings, physiology and behaviour, leading to enhanced wellbeing and resilience.

    Liked by 1 person

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